The Male Child Syndrome...

A child is a blessing and a gift from God regardless of the sex but this is not the case in most homes. The preference of the male child to the female child has posed a lot of problems in most African homes and this is a very harmful practice which we must all desist from. These practices have constituted a grave burden on women in most developing countries as they have become victims of these cultural and religious bigotry.

At the birth of a son, the proud father spreads his feathers like a peacock...He now has a child to carry on his name! He can now stand tall among his age mates..His voice would now be heard....
The child's mother rejoices also..She is so thankful for the gift of a male child..Now she would be recognized by her in-laws... Now she has a say.. Now her voice would be heard...

The male child thus grows up in the family knowing how priceless he is! How indispensable he is! He is treated differently from his female siblings...  

This gap between genders keeps widening and we can only seek whom to pass the blame on when things go wrong.

As a mother, how do you raise your male child? Do you raise him any differently from his female siblings? Especially when he happens to be your only son...

In my opinion, It is morally wrong to create a wall of preference around the male child thus making him see himself as superior to the female child. All children ought to be treated with a sense of fairness.

While giving a stern approach to raising the female child, have you considered doing the same to the male child? 

The average African girl child grows up knowing that a lot is expected of her. From her early stages, she is groomed to becoming a mother...She learns good housekeeping, variety of meals and above all good manners. She learns to do her laundry and stands with her mum in the kitchen till the meal is prepared and served. In most homes, she is made to do the dishes after the meal. 
At some point in her life, she becomes a victim of midnight chats at odd hours with her mother who would stop at nothing to ensure she instills the right character into her. 
She grows up into a matured and responsible woman having passed through these stages and possibly even more depending on the family ethics...
She becomes a strong woman! 

Why don't parents go through these same stages in raising all kids irrespective of the gender? Only very few parents actually train their kids in this manner...

If she can do the dishes, why can't he?
If she can wash her clothes, why can't he?
If she can learn to cook variety of meals, why can't he?
If she can learn good housekeeping, why can't he?
If she can stand with her mum watching her make the family meals, why can't he?
If she can set the table, why can't he?

and likewise....

If he can wash the car, why can't she?
If he can help change the energy bulbs, why can't she?
If he can turn on the gen set,, why can't she?

People argue that male children should not be raised in the same manner as a female child but I think these are simply societal stereotypes and misconception which we have allowed to eat deep into the home. The society we live in naturally exacerbates gender roles but as parents, we need to work hard to make our kids realize that they have equal opportunities to explore and that all options have been opened up for them to be whatever they want to be. 

A male child should learn to be compassionate and kind. He should understand that he needs to look out for his female siblings even though he was younger...No chores in the home should be termed ''female chores''... and he should be made to understand that getting involved in some chores doesn't make him any less a male. He should learn to be supportive...

We need to teach our boys that: 

-It's great to be open to new things...
-It's awesome to say ''I'm sorry''
-it's okay to express their emotions...
-females are not lesser beings but humans deserving of their love and protection...
-violence is not the easiest way out of any situation...
-it's alright to be compassionate and kind...
-it's wrong to raise their hands or voices at anyone...
-it's great to learn to bake
-it's great to learn to cook and do other chores at home..

and above all teach them how to be awesome fathers some day!

We should all strive for a degree of gender neutrality in our homes. We must not do to children of a particular sex what we would not do to children of the other sex!

 I'll tell you what this would bring about... If every parent learned to raise sound-minded, unbiased kids, the world would be a better place because these kids will grow up into responsible men and women who will in turn pass on these traits to their own kids...

Our boys would then grow up into amazing  hardworking men who would love ,protect and provide for their wives and children...
Our girls would grow up into amazing hardworking women  who would be supportive and loving home makers...

And like a ripple effect, long gone with the wind would be the rise in the rate of domestic violence and divorce....