PARENTING

How would you rate your parenting capabilities? Young girls grow up to become mothers with their own children having little or no parenting skills thus giving rise to varying parenting techniques.

I will tell you this funny story... A primary school teacher had a female kid in her class walk up to her crying. She inquired on what was wrong and the pretty girl complained that her classmate slapped her face - a male kid. She immediately summoned him to her office to inquire why he would put up such a terrible attitude and he replied her saying '' My dad says when a male is talking, it is wrong for a female to speak also because my dad would slap my mum if she speaks while he is talking''. Terrible Parenting! 

Not only is he terrible as a father, he is also coaching his son to do likewise. The kid was suspended from school after a formal confrontation with his parents.

Parenting doesn't come with a handbook, its an on-the-job training and its important we do it right. 

Mother's come together and discuss parenting skills,they sometimes form groups on social media aimed at learning from each other's experiences but the question is this? Would the same skills used on CHILD A be applicable to CHILD B?

Here are a few parenting techniques you might wanna try...

Set Rules and Limits: Bed-time, game-time, study-time and nap-time just to mention a few should be set. Guiding a child's behavior through rules and limits is big part of parenting and its so important that you state the consequences of stepping out of line.  If you have been living without limits, patiently sit with your child and explain in simple terms what you expect from him or her. It may require perseverance and firmness but in the long run, you would both learn to respect the boundaries. Be sure to keep the limits clear and simple but please keep in mind the level of maturity of the child as this will help you set reasonable limits.

Keep Promises: You make yourself sound so unreliable when you make promises and never keep them. 

Children learn never to trust you. Mummy is a liar'' Daddy you are lieing'' These words sound  familiar isn't it?When your child knows you never mean whatever you say, they would never believe anything you say and like a ripple effect when you set the rules they would most likely cross the lines. You want to raise truthful children? then speak the truth to them at all times no matter how difficult or hard it may sound... From a child's point of view, if you didn't mean it the first time, you just might not mean it this time.

Now don't get me wrong when I say speak the truth at all times as they are always exceptions to this rule particularly when it pertains issues that are beyond their grasp at that particular time such as the death of a parent, financial issues etc

Quit Yelling: Focus on controlling yourself not the child! I know its hard to keep cool in the heat of moment but it's important to know that the more you yell at your kid, the more they tend to tune to out.

Don't Bribe them: I'm an ardent supporter of rewarding kids who have done tremendously well at school or at a chore but we must be careful at what we make our kids see as rewards. Giving them unhealthy snacks such as ice-creams and fatty snacks may not be so good a reward so also allowing them  have Extra television time may not sound like a very good idea too...remember the first rule..Set the rules and on no account should you flex the time. Bribery would always get out of hand as your kids may start to demand ever-increasing rewards overtime.
Treat times should not be based on rewards... be unpredictable! A tap on the back and sound uplifting words and encouragement are the best form of rewards you can give a child. They would never forget in a hurry.

Parental Protectiveness: It can be hard to accept your child's growing dependence but you must understand that at some point, as your child matures he/she would need more space. Listen to them.. BE A GOOD LISTENER. Discuss options for expanded rules and come to a compromise. Your willingness to listen and compromise shows your child that you respect and recognize they are growing and matured. If you had succeeded in building trust between your kid and yourself, you wouldn't be over-protective. Build trust...

Don't always give in: A child keeps asking for something and the parent says no! The child keeps asking and begins to even throw tantrums..over and over again and the parent finally gives in to quieten the moment...Sounds familiar right?
Now know this, when you continually give in to pressure from your child,you've given up your role as a parent. You are no longer guiding your child towards sound decision-making and responsible behavior. If your answer to your child's request is a No and you do not intend to change your answer, let them know you not bending and give soft and reasonable reasons.  

Comparing and Criticism: Stop making negative comparison between your kid and other children. If you are guilty of this, it's not too late to make a change! Rather than comparing and criticizing the kid, identify your kid's strength and unique qualities and learn to appreciate them. Each child is different, it makes no sense to comparing them. Stop the preferential treatments and treat your kids equally....trust me you do not want to create an illusion that child A is your favorite...The hurt will come back to you over time.

Build them a Library: The best gift you could give to your kid is a library. Teach your children to imbibe the habit of reading! Rather than spending all their time on the internet or on social media... There is a lot to be gained from a child who reads! Buy a new book every month or week ...Do a review.. TALK ABOUT IT..

Raising children is a tough business but the secret to raising kids with the right morals is your ability to be a friend FIRST before being a parent. Learn to sit with your baby when he/she has done something wrong, avoid standing up and yelling... This puts you at eye-level with him/her. The results are tremendous!
Finger Pointing doesn't help to get your point across! Dear Parent please Don't stretch that finger towards your baby.... It's morally wrong! 
Learning to focus on the problem rather the child is one good habit parents must learn to cultivate. 
Be diplomatic... In my opinion, it's not such a good idea to point out the errors in another child to your kid... 

''Sharon is a bad girl..you shouldn't be friends with her..she's done this or that'' ... sounds familiar right! 

You can pass your message across in a more diplomatic way. 

Above all, strive to imbibe good christian values in your kids... Lead them to the Lord!

Kids looks up to you as parents in virtually everything... If we all learned to raise our kids with the utmost care,love and respect...The world would be a better place for us all as our kids will invariably become friends with other amazing kids and who knows... they could end up with the most amazing of them all as spouses...
At this point we wouldn't have to deal with emotionally unstable adults....

Make a decision today to raise World Changers... It is Possible!

Thank you amazing Mums/Dads *muah*