The Girl Child....

Hello Crushes... Welcome to another awesome Monday on the Nickicripses blog! 

I was recently called upon to speak to a group of young girls on abortions and it's consequences, a topic I found rather interesting and eager to deliver due to the recent happenings around me at the time I was to deliver the talk. Fortunately, I ended up not talking to the girls on the said day because I was unavoidable absent but I have never stopped thinking about it since then.....

Where have we gone wrong as a family, as parents,  as siblings, as pastors, or as friends?

Long gone with the wind were the days when virginity was GOLDEN and It's so hard relating to this..

According to the WHO statistics, adolescent pregnancies remains a major contributor to maternal and infant mortality and to the cycle of ill health and poverty.  Every year some 3 million girls aged 13 - 19 undergo unsafe abortions and babies born to these adolescent mothers face a substantially higher risk of dying... They are particularly under weight most times and lack proper maternal care.. Sad! 

Young girls under the ages of 20 lack proper sex education and this may be the reason for the high rate of adolescent pregnancy widely witnessed across the world. I recall as a kid my mum would say to us '' Don't go close to any man... if you do you will become pregnant'' She always made it sound like a fact! We totally believed and this kept us far away from the boys at the time. Presently this myth is so unacceptable!! ... What teen would you tell these myths in our world of today?

I engaged a couple of friends in this discussion so as to get their views and i was bewildered by the facts i got... 
Parents really need to step up to their responsibilities and help their kids warm up to them.

Now the question is this.... What perception do your kids have about you? Do they see you as their best friend? Are you open to your kids? Or are you overly strict on them? Who is your baby getting close to? What company is she keeping? 

In my opinion, Mothers in particular are solely responsible for the upbringing of the female child... Putting out the age ranges, let's learn what needs to be done to curb this menace.. 

• 6-13 years

At age 13,  your daughter should be on her first trip to the gynecologist where a regular examination would be carried out and her developmental changes discussed. She's never too young to know more about her body so I usually advice that these visits be made regularly..possibly at the same time you schedule your own visits. Teach her to write down when her period begins, when it ends and how often they come.
Personally I believe the female child needs to be brought up with a lot of care as most young girls at this age range get to see their very first menstruation which could be very confusing for the girl child at the time. Helping the girl child develop an intimate relationship with her gynecologist and yourself would make her very comfortable sharing personal issues with you both in the future.

We have heard stories of abuses on children between the ages of 6 and 10 years old by pedophiles. It is never too early to teach your baby the sacredness of her vagina and breasts... She should learn to tell mummy whenever any one touches her in these places...
Teach them sex education in depth and do not create a faux  about it.  It's totally wrong to act as though these things do not exist...
The environment where the child is raised should be properly assessed.  Be on the look out for those uncles and friends (agbayas) who enjoy carrying your girls on their laps..or placing them in between their thighs with their arms around them for longer than is necessary....  If you would ask my opinion,that's a NO NO!! 

I don't care what their intentions are.... She's no longer a toddler... She has no business on your lap or in between your thighs PERIOD! 

It's not enough to teach her to say "NO" to these things... It's priceless to tell her the reasons! She is never too young to understand.. She's probably smarter than you are...!
You might also want to consider guiding the programs they view on the television by ensuring you adhere to the parental guidance instruction.. 

• 14 - 17 years old

At an advanced stage as this particularly in a technologically driven world, External influences play a very crucial role in the development of the girl child. More than half of the teenagers exposed to the internet have been exposed in one way or the other to pornography. The girl child needs you more now than ever as at this time she thinks, feels and interacts easily. In most adolescents, puberty stages may have been completed and certain levels of maturity attained so you have to treat her with a lot of care. Parents may  want to consider the following:

• The girl child needs to know that her secrets are safe with you. If you must be her ''Bff''you have to earn it!
• Talk to her about her concerns and pay loads of attention to the changes in her body. Set out quality time for some girl talk and make her know for certain that you can be relied upon at every point in time.
• Encourage her to get involved in extracurricular activities such as sports, drama etc. The girl child should learn to relate with the opposite sex with ease and getting involved in these activities puts her at ease and gives her the necessary exposure needed.
• Learn to compliment her every efforts and achievement.
• Teach her how to respond to sexual advancements and pressures from her peers. Discuss what she should do when in such situations and get her ready at all times.
• Talk to her about communicable diseases, the uses of condoms and the consequences of making the wrong decisions...... It's effect on her education and ultimately her future.
• Do not play down her concerns and make her feel like her opinions are not necessary. 
• Listen to her at all times and encourage her to develop solutions aimed at solving problems. Give advice where deemed necessary.
• In most cases between the ages of 15 - 17, the adolescent may have a smartphone in her possession and as such it's your duty to encourage her to make good decisions about the contents she posts online or who she signs onto her chat room/instant messaging platforms etc . 
• She should also be taught time management and all she needs to know about prioritizing... 
• Respect her privacy... If you are certain that you've  done your best as a parent in raising her up, you may never need to pry or interfere in her affairs as you would be confident that she can make the right decisions and seek your advice whenever she hits a cross road...

Above all lead her to WORSHIP!!

The girl child is a priceless gem! Your ability to raise her like a queen means a whole lot to the World... "winks"